Round 21 - 10 October 1999

1. This quote is from Carry On, Jeeves in "Without the Option". Bertie is speaking to Jeeves in wonderment that brainy women take to him like "a bull pup swallowing a bit of steak". Jeeves answer is "It may be Nature's provision for maintaining the balance of the species, sir." Thanks, Jeeves, we wouldn't want to raise the intelligence level of the species too high.

2. Evidently this is Plum up to his old tricks of using the same ripe stuff in different places. I wrote a paper for the Drone Rangers on this subject last month. The quote I was thinking of came from The Old Reliable and is describing Lord Topham. This is not a favorite novel of mine but I love the quote.

3. This is from Jeeves and the Feudal Spirit or Bertie Wooster Sees it Through. Bertie is talking to his good and deserving Aunt Dahlia, who has managed to once again get Bertie deep in the mulligatawny, where he is engaged to Florence Cray after mistakenly climbing into her bedroom to steal AD's pearls.

4. Almost everyone was correct on this one. This describes Keggs in Something Fishy. I liked the "vintage butler of a very good year".

Round 22 - 18 October 1999

According to Lord Emsworth, the family curse is his son Freddy. According to Galahad, their sisters were the family curse "each the leading blister of her county".

The crypto-families were:

Round 23 - 29 October 1999

1. Blandings Castle; the passage quoted is from Something Fresh (or Something New), chapter 5, section 3. It is, as one entrant commented,  beautiful descriptive writing. I hope some of the next round will be similarly interesting, especially to those who haven't read the book.

2. Totleigh Towers; from chapter 2 of The Code of the Woosters.

3. Belpher Castle; from chapter 7 of A Damsel in Distress.

Round 24 - 7 November 1999

1. Blandings Castle. The quotation is from Leave it to Psmith, chapter 8 ("Confidences on the Lake"), section 4.

2. Ditteredge Hall. The quotations are either from The Inimitable Jeeves, chapter 5 ("The Pride of the Woosters is Wounded") or, for omnibus-minded competitors (not that there were many), from The World of Jeeves, chapter 3 ("Scoring Off Jeeves"). It is the same story and the same quotations.

3. Skeldings Hall. The quotations are from Blandings Castle and Elsewhere (sometimes misleadingly shortened to just Blandings Castle), from the short story "Mr Potter Takes a Rest Cure". The book must be well known and read, if only for the famous "Pig-hoo-o-o-o-ey" story, which was the starting-point of Norman Murphy's remarkable talk at the Houston convention. This talk should be posted on the website before Christmas; at present he is trying to interest newspapers in it as an exclusive. But the "Mr Potter" story is apparently less memorable, although it is interesting as having Roberta Wickham without Bertie Wooster.

Round 25 - 15 November 1999

1. Chester Meredith, straining to hold it in as "his long putt, after quivering on the edge of the hole, stayed there". Chester's self-restraint had an effect upon Felicia Blakeney opposite to what he had intended, but he redeemed himself a few holes later in a memorable speech beginning: "! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !" "Chester Forgets Himself", chapter IV of The Heart of a Goof (or chapter 15 of The Golf Omnibus).

No participant identified Chester's quote, but several found another correct answer: Bertie Wooster attempting to soothe Aunt Dahlia in chapter IX of Right Ho, Jeeves (and risking life and limb, or at least a biffing, in the process).

2. Narrator Corky Corcoran, identifying the curious odour emanating from the suit of dress-clothes lent to him by his landlord Bowles, who had let Ukridge walk off with Corky's own suit earlier that evening. Corky had to wear the fragrant suit to a small celebration he was hosting at Mario's. There he was greeted by his friends' "friend-like candour": "With a solid unanimity they told me frankly that it was only the fact that I was paying for the supper that enabled them to tolerate my presence". "First Aid for Dora", chapter IV of Ukridge (or of The World of Ukridge).

3. Oily Carlisle, valiantly holding up his end of a conversation in French between two non-French-speaking French noblemen. Packy Franklyn was the other nobleman. (Packy's rejoinder: "Nom d'une pipe!"). Hot Water, chapter X, section 1.

Round 26 - 23 November 1999

1. Spinach.  The quote was Sir Redvers Branksome's pathetic attempt at bluffness as he submitted to the Iron Will of Sacheverell Mulliner.  "The Voice From the Past", chapter V of Mulliner Nights (or chapter 23 of The World of Mr Mulliner).

2. An orange.  Shortly after Squire Tressidder marched out on Bingo Little's  production, "What Ho, Twing!!", the girl at the piano struck up the prelude to that Orange-Girl number that had been the big hit of the Palace revue. The sinister Steggles, however, true to form, injected some modifications into Bingo's version of the number.  The quote from Bertie Wooster's narrative captured the gist. "The Metropolitan Touch", chapter XV of The Inimitable Jeeves (or chapter 14 of The World of Jeeves).

3. Pumpkins.  No Earl of Emsworth had ever won a first prize for pumpkins at the Shrewsbury Show.  "The Custody of the Pumpkin", chapter I of Blandings Castle and Elsewhere (or second story in The World of Blandings).

Round 27 - 1 December 1999

1. The Efficient Baxter. Psmith had announced Eve Halliday's arrival at Blandings by tossing a flower-pot through the library window.  Baxter - later to prove an ace flower-pot-thrower himself - failed in his attempt to get Psmith to acknowledge his deed.  Leave It to Psmith, chapter VIII, section 4.

2. Aunt Agatha.  The Master first introduced us to Bertie and Jeeves in this short story, which made its initial appearance in 1915 (in the Saturday Evening Post).  The first words out of Jeeves' mouth were "Mrs. Gregson to see you, sir."  And suddenly she was in our midst, at the ungodly hour of half-past eleven, hotting things up for Bertie.  Bertie scented danger, but could not evade the mission to America which Aunt Agatha had in mind for him. "Extricating Young Gussie," second story in The Man With Two Left Feet.

3. Mrs Lora Delane Porter.  This outstanding woman opened the story by running over George Pennicut, Kirk Winfield's English manservant, and leaving him dazed and helpless by the force of her personality in the ensuing interview. The Coming of Bill, book one, chapter I.

4. Spode.  Here's an expanded excerpt from the aftermath of Bertie's telling Spode that he knew all about Eulalie:

"I'm sorry I called you a miserable worm, Wooster.  I spoke without thinking."
"Always think, Spode.  Well, that is all.  You may withdraw."

The Code of the Woosters, chapter VII.

Round 28 - 9 December 1999

1. Thus did the dog William rescue detective story-writer James Rodman from the spell of Honeysuckle Cottage, and certain marriage. "Honeysuckle Cottage", chapter IX of Meet Mr Mulliner (or chapter 9 of The World of Mr Mulliner).

2. This was the Efficient Baxter's reaction upon finding, in the course of crawling on the floor in pitch blackness, a helping of cold tongue - "something clammy and icy-cold, the touch of which filled him with a nameless horror". Lord Emsworth's immediate response was to raise his revolver and empty it in the direction of the sound. Something Fresh, chapter VIII, section IV.

3. The sea-sick Eustace Hignett, enlisted to play the piano in accompaniment to Sam Marlowe's "Little Imitation" at the ship's concert, bolted at the sight of Sam's Mr Frank Tinney (complete with cigar). Having lost his pianist, Sam himself bolted in turn. The house tumultuously applauded "the one quality which renders amateur imitations tolerable, that of brevity". The Girl on the Boat, chapter VI.

4. Wee Nooke had gone up in flames, courtesy of Edwin the Boy Scout. Bertie, the new occupant, discussed the problem with his Uncle Percy, who had planned to use the cottage as the secluded site for sensitive business negotiations. Joy in the Morning, chapter X.

Round 29 - 17 December 1999

1. The first speaker is Edmund Biffen Christopher, better known as "Biff", an engaging young scallywag who has just heard that he will shortly inherit a huge fortune and is characteristically eager to share the wealth. Y is his friend Jerry Shoesmith, who has been refusing to sponge on the new millionaire, to the latter's chagrin.
From Frozen Assets, chapter 3, section 2.

2. Y is curate Anselm Mulliner and Z is Myrtle Jellaby, his betrothed.
The strong emotions reflected in this passage were caused by the fact that retired (?) burglar Joe Beamish, deeply moved by Anselm's peerless sermon and forsaking all dishonesty, had just presented the lovers with the valuable stamp album he had previously stolen following Myrtle's subtle hints (she meant Anselm to pocket the insurance money, you see). Later in the story, Myrtle did utter those unprintable remarks, ‘and there was that about them which might well have rendered a tougher curate than Anselm temporarily incapable of speech’.
From ‘Anselm Gets His Chance’, in Eggs, Beans and Crumpets (5) or The World of Mr. Mulliner (37).

3. The trouserless hero of the tale is Freddie Widgeon, a member in good standing of the Drones Club.
He was ‘borrowing’ dry clothes from Captain Bradbury's house, when the owner's advent and justly incensed behaviour caused him to flee before he had quite finished dressing.
The notorious Four Arts Ball (Bal des Quat'z Arts in the natives' lingo) is now defunct, I think. In its heyday, it was a rowdy yearly dance where art students and other Latin Quarter long-haired fauna were rumoured to whoop it up in no uncertain manner. A full-blown Babylonian orgy would have been as a vicar's wife's tea-party compared to these riotous goings-on.
From ‘Trouble Down At Tudsleigh’, in Young Men in Spats (3).

4. The speaker is Godfrey, Lord Biskerton, generally referred to as "the Biscuit".
His aunt had been suggesting that he should go to Paris (for reasons too involved to get into here, but concerning his engagement to an American heiress). But the Biscuit meant to stay on in Valley Fields (where he happened to be living in order to escape his creditors). The warmth of his spirited denunciation may just have had something to do with the fact that in this suburban paradise he had met a wonderful American girl (yes, another one).
Censure of the same kind - criticizing the French for pig-headedly persisting in speaking French - is to be found elsewhere, in Frozen Assets (chapter 3) and French Leave (chapter 12), for instance.
From Big Money, chapter 9, section 1.

Round 30 - 28 December 1999

1. "You can lead a horse to the altar, (...,) but you can't make it drink."

Bertie Wooster – Thank you, Jeeves, chapter 12 (‘Start smearing, Jeeves!’).

The relevant ‘horse’ was Pauline Stoker. Faced with the awful prospect of a shotgun wedding, Bertie was comforted by the thought that Pauline would presumably ‘put her ears back and refuse to co-operate.’

2. ‘A banana a day keeps the gorilla away.’

Montrose Mulliner – ‘Monkey business’, in Blandings Castle and Elsewhere (8) or The World of Mr Mulliner (28).

This maxim is, I think, particularly enjoyable because of its subtle relationship to the well-known proverb about apples and doctors: the wording is perfectly similar, but the meaning, of course, has been turned topsy-turvy.

3. ‘If butlers come, can port be far behind?’

Ukridge – ‘Success Story’ (section IV), in Nothing Serious.

Finding himself alone in butler Oakshott's pantry, Ukridge naturally ‘started hunting round for the port.’ His reasoning was sound, for he ‘located it eventually in a cupboard.’

There are quite a few variations on this structure in P.G.W.'s works – none, I think, more delightfully nonsensical than the following: ‘As the fellow said, if stuffed frogs come, can ripe solutions be far behind?’ (Jeeves and the Feudal Spirit, ch. 12).

4. ‘You can't press your suit and another fellow's trousers simultaneously.’

Bertie again – The Mating Season, chapter 11.

Catsmeat, who was supposed to valet Bertie, had neglected his duties. But that was because he was concentrating on writing love letters to Gertrude Winkworth. Well, the Woosters are nothing if not fair-minded. And Bertie duly made allowances for a wooer's busy agenda, while bestowing upon his fellow-men an immortal maxim of mind-boggling profundity.