Round 31 - 6 January 2000

Bon appétit!

1. ‘ ... I would have taken pot-luck at this juncture with a buzzard.’

Bertie Wooster, emerging from a miserable night spent in a stressful summer-house and whole-stomachedly envying the early bird its calory-crammed breakfast. From Thank you, Jeeves, chapter 17 (‘Breakfast-time at the Hall’).

2. ‘ ... His entire interior organism was up on its feet, shouting wildly for sustenance.’

Dudley Finch, a very uncomfortable guest at Skeldings Hall (it was all Bobbie's fault, of course). From ‘The Awful Gladness of the Mater’, in Mr Mulliner Speaking or The World of Mr Mulliner.

3. ‘ ... I felt like a homeless tapeworm.’

Reggie Havershot. From Laughing Gas, chapter 8. The epithet in ‘a homeless tapeworm’ (lovely phrase, that, isn't it?) strikes a pathetically relevant chord, since the third Earl was then both far away from home and exiled from his own tastefully socked body.

4. ‘ ... he had become aware by now of that not unpleasant emptiness which is the silent luncheon-gong of the soul.’

Psmith. From Leave it to Psmith, chapter 6, section 2. The polished elegance of this short poem in prose is, I think, finely attuned to Psmith's own inimitable style ("Mine, Miss Clarkson, is a refined and poetic nature").

My apologies for calling Psmith 'Rupert' in the name list. Incidentally, you must feel no anxiety about your trusted computer's well-being; the queer grating noise you are hearing is caused by my grinding a remorseful tooth or two. I ought to have remembered that Psmith's first name is 'Ronald' in this particular book (chapter 13, section 3). Many thanks to Gus Caywood for pointing out this unforgivable error.

Round 32 - 15 January 2000

Sweet Swan

1. "We don't want infants mewling and puking about the Drones."

‘The Word in Season’ (A Few Quick Ones).

Members of the Drones Club were initially indignant when Bingo Little entered his son and heir Algernon Aubrey's name as a candidate for election, but this strong, silent baby was later revealed as having saved its father's bacon by producing a timely "Cat".

2. ‘Only the fact that he had brilliantined them while making his toilet that morning kept his knotted and combined locks from parting and each particular hair from standing on end like quills upon the fretful porpentine.’

Cocktail Time, chapter 1. W is Lord Ickenham, and X is his long-suffering nephew, Pongo Twistleton.

‘Uncle Fred’ was then preparing to shoot a Brazil nut (with fascinating linguistic implications) at Sir Raymond Bastable's top hat, to Pongo's horror and dismay.

3. ‘The words, "Infirm of purpose, give me the sandbag!" seemed to be trembling on her lips.’

Sam the Sudden, chapter 20. Y is ‘Soapy’ Molloy, and, of course, Z is light-fingered and blunt instrument specialist Dolly, the moon of his delight.

Dolly was then planning a raid on Mon Repos which involved Soapy biffing Hash Todhunter on the head to clear the way.

4. ‘(the customers) ... had had little that was pleasant to say to the divinity who was shaping their ends.’

‘When Doctors Disagree’ (The Man Upstairs and Other stories). This divinity’s name is Maud Peters.

Barber Arthur Welsh loved this attractive manicure girl with so Othelloesque an intensity that any badinage from her customers used to strain relations in the shop to breaking point.

We can't help admiring Shakespeare for prophetically describing a manicurist's professional activities in such an accurate and stylish manner, can we?

Round 33 - 26 January 2000

Sports Page

1. Rugby football. This is Bertie, who is about to watch Tuppy Glossop in a blood match between Upper Bleaching and Hockley-cum-Meston. "The Ordeal of Young Tuppy," chapter XI of Very Good, Jeeves (or chapter 31 of The World of Jeeves).

2. Boxing. This is the the Public School championships at Aldershot, the opening scene in the Master's first book. In the dressing area Tony Graham, St. Austin's, happens upon his cousin, Allen Thomson, Rugby. (At the end of the chapter they do meet in the dramatic middle-weight final.) The Pothunters, chapter I.

3. Tennis. Jeremy Garnet is taking a break from helping run Ukridge's chicken farm, and plays a set against naval lieutenant Tom Chase, whom he imagines to be his rival for the affection of Phyllis Derrick. Phyllis watches most of the set and sees Tom crush Jeremy. She wanders away before Jeremy finally makes a respectable showing in the sixth game. Love Among the Chickens, chapter XIII.

4. Baseball. Jimmy Crocker's father, Bingley Crocker, is living in exile from baseball due to his wife's social ambitions in England. He hallucinates. Piccadilly Jim, chapter II.

Round 34 - 3 February 2000

Tense Moments

1. Freddie Widgeon. Biggleswade, the butler, is the speaker. Freddie, suspected of torturing the Peke, "opened the door, to perceive without, a group consisting of Lady Prenderby, her daughter Dahlia, a few assorted aunts, and the butler, with poker". "Good-bye to All Cats," chapter V of Young Men in Spats (or of Tales From the Drones Club).

2. Mervyn Mulliner or Freddie Widgeon. Mervyn (or Freddie) has been apprehended legging it from Bellamy's at something midway between a saunter and a gallop, attempting to purloin strawberries for his damsel.

MAGISTRATE: He seems to have got the raspberry.
(Laughter in court.)
Well, what have you to say, young man?
MERVYN: Oh, ah!
MAGISTRATE: More "owe" than "ah," I fear.
(Laughter in court, in which his worship joined.)
Ten pounds or fourteen days.

"The Knightly Quest of Mervyn," chapter IV of Mulliner Nights (or chapter 22 of The World of Mr Mulliner). Freddie Widgeon was the hero of the story when it appeared in magazines as "Quest," before conversion to a Mulliner story.

3. Bertie Wooster. Seeing Sir Roderick Glossop off from their eventful lunch, Bertie takes from Jeeves and puts on the hat which had been snatched from Sir Roderick's head that morning. "Sir Roderick Comes to Lunch," chapter VIII of The Inimitable Jeeves (or chapter 4 of The World of Jeeves).

4. Corky Corcoran. Ukridge has inveigled Corky into posing as an interviewer for Woman's Sphere, with a view to buttering up Ukridge's Aunt Julia and getting Dora Mason her job back as Aunt Julia's secretary. The ruse fails. "First Aid for Dora," chapter IV of Ukridge (or of The World of Ukridge).

Round 35 - 11 February 2000

Impostor!

1. Bertie Wooster, impersonating Rosie M Banks. "All's Well," chapter XVIII of The Inimitable Jeeves (or "Bingo and the Little Woman," chapter 16 of The World of Jeeves).

2. Gentleman Jack, impersonating Lord Wisbeach, is speaking of Jimmy Crocker, impersonating himself. Piccadilly Jim, chapter XVI.
Originally I had intended to allow maximum extra credit only to contestants who identified both of the impersonations involved in this quote. Madhur Tiwary, however, has pointed out that there's a respectable case to be made that one who poses as himself cannot be an impostor. This knotty theological issue is what prevented the Quizmasters from using Jimmy Crocker in the "Impostor" quiz last June. Accordingly, those who mentioned only the Wisbeach impersonation are eligible for maximum extra credit, but with an asterisk.

3. Bertie, impersonating Gussie. The Mating Season, chapter five.

4. Uncle Fred, impersonating Mr Roddis, owner of The Cedars, Mitching Hill. "Uncle Fred Flits By," chapter VIII of Young Men in Spats (or of Tales From the Drones Club).

Round 36 - 21 February 2000

Show Time

1. Archibald Mulliner, imitating a hen laying an egg. "The Reverent Wooing of Archibald," chapter I of Mr Mulliner Speaking (or chapter 10 of The World of Mr Mulliner).

2. Gussie Fink-Nottle and Catsmeat Pirbright, closing their vaudeville cross-talk act. The Mating Season, chapter twenty-two.

3. Freddie Widgeon, closing his masked singing act in Amateur Night at the East Bottleton Palace of Varieties. "The Masked Troubadour," chapter VI of Lord Emsworth and Others (or chapter 9 of Tales From the Drones Club).

4. Vera Prebble, parlourmaid, auditioning for Mr Schnellenhamer. "The Rise of Minna Nordstrom," chapter XI of Blandings Castle and Elsewhere (or chapter 31 of The World of Mr Mulliner).

Round 37 - 2 March 2000

Terpsichorean Revels

1. Ukridge editorializes the North Kensington Folk Dance Society, in "The Come-Back of Battling Billson."

2. Lancelot Mulliner, in "Came the Dawn," reflects on his abilities when asked whether he can, in fact, dance.

3. Hugo Carmody, cut to the quick by aspersions cast on his skill, rants for several pages about the iniquity of the Amalgamated Professors of the Dance, who keep changing the rules without notice, to the disadvantage of the dancer who is gone from the metropolis for even a short time. One sympathizes with Sue Brown, the recipient of the diatribe: "All this because you trod on my foot for half a second." Summer Lightning, ch. 4.

4. Lady Pauline Weatherby, knocking 'em cold in Uneasy Money, ch. 7.

Round 38 - 9 March 2000

Visual Arts

1. Mrs. Chavender, in the last chapter (20) of Quick Service, suggests that her portrait be put to the purpose toward which J. B. Duff has been scheming throughout the book, thereby convincing him that they are twin souls.

2. The bally libel on the Wooster face hawks Slingsby's Superb Soups, in "The Spot of Art".

3. Clarence Mulliner (who, contrary to standard form, is a cousin, rather than a nephew) defends the integrity of photographers in "Romance of a Bulb Squeezer."

4. Alaric, the Duke of Dunstable, makes the uncharitable remark about the Emsworth ancestors in ch. 4 of A Pelican at Blandings (a.k.a. No Nudes is Good Nudes, which is a pretty leading hint), after having a picture in a rather different style hung amongst them. The redoubtable Mixer maintains that this was a trick question: "It turns out our human walrus didn't have his nude painting hung in the portrait gallery during a chapter of A Pelican at Blandings. The dastardly deed took place one day after the conclusion of Chapter 3 and one day before the beginning of Chapter 4. I refer you to the first paragraph of Ch 4: 'Two days elapsed before Linda Gilpin arrived....' And now to the second paragraph: 'The Duke and Lady Constance were up in the portrait gallery. On the previous day the former's reclining nude had been hung there, and Lady Constance was scrutinizing it without pleasure....'" And I must admit he has a point, although he gives me too much credit in implying that this was an intentional subtlety on my part ("you sly dog, you" was the phrase he used).

Round 39 - 18 March 2000

Charms to Soothe the Savage Breast

1. Charteris's prowess on the banjo is discussed in ch. 6 of The Pothunters.

2. Joss Weatherby, in ch. 15 of Quick Service, compares his own singing of "Old Man River" with Lord Holbeton's performance of "Trees," to the crooner's disadvantage.

3. Bertie Wooster is not a fan of Miss Eustacia Pulbrook's violin solo in The Mating Season, ch. 22.

4. Adrian Mulliner successfully applies musical theory to the mystery of Lord Brangbolton's missing soap in "The Smile That Wins."

Round 40 - 28 March 2000

The Art of Eating

1. Bertie Wooster envisions the dinner that would console him for a spell in chokey, in Code of the Woosters, ch. 14. (Aunt Dahlia has a bit part.)

2. Bingo Little gives Bertie an example demonstrating the absolute necessity of packing a substantial luncheon basket for a race meeting, in "Jeeves and the Old School Chum".

3. Mr Schnellenhammer's public consumption of a sandwich torments dieting Wilmot Mulliner in "The Juice of an Orange".

4. Music to Lord Emsworth's ears: Empress of Blandings finally agrees to sit up and take nourishment, in the dramatic conclusion of "Pig-hoo-o-o-o-ey!".