Round 11 - 16 July 1999

Let us now praise famous trousers. Breeches. Breeks. Pantaloons. They loom large in the Wodehouse pantheon, esp. if worn by the Duke of Dunstable, who has the biggest trouser seat in Wiltshire. Following are three questions involving trousers. Those of you who are hauling up your slacks in anticipation, because you know all about Sir Gregory Parsloe and his raffle, be forewarned. We've had quite enough of young Tubby Parsloe in this quiz.

1. Who once remained between the sheets for 48 hours, and what was the apparel-related reason?

2. Who gave his trousers away in the High Street, during what atmospheric conditions, and why?

3. Who was divested of his leg-apparel during what should have been a solemn, religious festivity?

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Round 12 - 25 July 1999

Wodehouse did not really approve of work. Those characters who have made what the world calls a success of themselves rarely capture the Master's imagination. They usually have dyspepsia and are forced through plot devices to shell out large sums to the less deserving. Plum's sympathies lie with the dreamers, the ne'r do wells, and the idle rich. So many jobs, then, in Wodehouse, are temporary, but none so fleeting as the position of secretary at Blandings Castle. Among others, Hugo Carmody, Jerry Vail, Monty Bodkin and Sandy Callender all vacant their post for better climes. But three of Lord Emsworth's employees are unaccounted for in the end of things. Our 12th round competition, therefore, is an open-ended one, with lots of points to be gained for originality and logical inconsistencies:

What do you think was the eventual fate of the following Emsworth alumnae?

1. Lavender Briggs (did she open her type-writing bureau with her ill-gotten gains? If so, how did she click?)

2. Psmith

3. The Efficient Baxter

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Round 13 - 3 August 1999

1. Who was it who "interrupted me with the uncouth abruptness so characteristic of human gorillas. [He] may have had his merits, though I had never been able to spot them, but his warmest admirer couldn't have called him couth."

Major Brabazon-Plank? or Cyril Waddesley-Davenport? or Roderick Spode?

2. Who is the peer described here? "There is an expression in common use which might have been invented to describe the enterprising peer in moments such as this; the expression 'boomps-a-daisy'. You could look askance at his methods, you could shake your head at him in disapproval and click your tongue in reproof, but you could not deny that he was 'boomps-a-daisy'."

Is this Lord Ickenham? or Lord Rowcester? or Lord Uffenham?

3. What are we looking at when we see an "edifice in the Neo-Suburbo-Gothic style of architecture, constructed of bricks which appeared to be making a slow recovery from a recent attack of jaundice"?

Peacehaven? or Wallingford Street West Kensington? or Walsingford Hall?

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Round 14 - 15 August 1999

For this round let's try a few sort-of puns. Guessers welcome; those who give the source of the quotation get bonus marks. Spot the punner or punster (not punter).

1. When someone said "And they've opened a pot of my raspberry jam", who made the pun, "Ah, then, you will be able to catch them red-handed"?

Barmy Fotheringhay-Phipps? or Lord Ickenham? or Stiffy Byng?

2. "Do you mean to tell me," he cried, "that when you said a mille what you meant was a meal?" Who said that, when he discovered he was the victim of this pun-like misunderstanding?

Bertie Wooster? or Bingo Little? or Freddie Widgeon?

3. "Think of yourself, left alone at home, watching the clock, saying to yourself 'Now she is lifting a pair of silk stockings!' 'Now she is hiding gloves in her umbrella!' 'Just about this moment she is getting away with a pearl necklace!' . . . She could not help herself. Or, rather, she could not refrain from helping herself." Who was it apparently caught in his own pun:

The Oldest Member? or Psmith? or Sam Shotter?

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Round 15 - 23 August 1999

This time the quotations, which are chiefly notable for being long lists, include a character whom I will call respectively X, Y, and (with a flash of originality) Z, and you have to guess who they are (unless you know, of course, in which case extra marks for giving sources).

1. At the end of five minutes, X was mildly surprised to find himself in possession of a smoking-cap, three boxes of poker-chips, some polo sticks, a fishing-rod, a concertina, a ukelele, and a bowl of goldfish.

Is X Catsmeat Potter-Pirbright, or Osbert Mulliner, or Freddie Widgeon?

2. So saying, Y produced from his trousers pocket a pencil, a ball of string, a piece of indiarubber, threepence in bronze, the necklace, a packet of chewing gum, two buttons, and a small cough lozenge, and placed them on the table. He picked up the pencil, the ball of string, the piece of indiarubber, the threepence, the chewing gum, the buttons, and the lozenge, and returned then to his store.

Is Y Albert Peasemarch? or Ukridge? or Freddie Threepwood?

3. "She came down to the school one Saturday and stood us a feed. Coffee, doughnuts, raspberry vinegar, two kinds of jam, two kinds of cake, ice cream, and sausages and mashed potatoes," said Z, in whose memory the episode had never ceased to be green.

Is Z Berry Conway, or Monty Bodkin, or Bingo Little?

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Round 16 - 31 August 1999

For the last round of this set, the link connecting the questions is physical misfortune, pain, and humiliation. It may counter the idea that Wodehouse's world is the original Garden of Eden, a Paradise from which we have all been excluded. Evelyn Waugh who started that idea should have known better; he did not say where theologically that would have left Wodehouse. And Wodehouse's stories are often made up of skulduggery and conflicts, more like the Garden of Eden after the Snake arrived. Moreover each Wodehouse story and book ends happily. The happy ending to the Garden of Eden story comes about 50 books later, which is not Wodehouse's way. Fasten your safety belts. X, Y, and Z are back, but this week as different impostors.

1. X "took the entire staircase in one majestic, volplaning sweep. There were eleven stairs in all separating his landing from the landing below, and the only ones he hit were the third and tenth. He came to rest with a squattering thud on the lower landing, and for a moment or two the fever of the chase left him ... It had not been his original intention to illuminate the theatre of action, but after that Lucifer-like descent from the second floor to the first he was taking no more chances."

Is X Rupert Baxter, Tuppy Glossop or Algernon Martyn?

2. Y "strode to the head of the stairs.

'But one last word . . .' he said with a wide, passionate gesture.

Well, I could have told the poor old chap that you can't do that sort of thing in these old-world country cottages. His knuckles hit a projecting beam, he danced in agony, over-balanced, and the next moment was on his way to the ground floor like a sack of coals."

Is Y Boko Fittleworth, Marmaduke Chuffnell, or Brabazon Plank?

3. Z's "physical discomfort was acute. Insects, some winged, some without wings but - through Nature's wonderful law of compensation - equipped with a number of extra pairs of legs, had begun to fit out exploring expeditions over his body. They roamed about him as if he were some newly opened recreation ground, strolled in couples down his neck, and made up jolly family parties on his bare feet. And then, first dropping like the gentle dew upon the place beneath, then swishing down in a steady flood, it began to rain again."

Is Z Rufus Bennett, Freddie Bullivant, or Roderick Glossop?

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Round 17 - 8 September 1999

This is a crypto-gram, a very simple letter substitution code. The letter a=x to get you started. In other words, cat would be cxt.

After decoding this little story, I want to know who said it to whom (or is it who?), what book, and why it is amusing. On this particular question, if you get one, I think you will get all. Anyway, here goes.

X SGOMJMGI IHMJC

Hem ovf fxovw Fazsmppi xfw Rxzqimf ivh mgh hm jawv hm Yjatshmf mf x hxfwvo yazczpv, xfw evjv im gfumjhgfxhv xi hm zmov afhm zmppaimf eahs x yjvevj'i nxf. Xfw esvf hsv jvizgv lxjhc xjjafvw mf hsv izvfv mu hsv xzzawvfh, ah exi waizmnvjvw hsxh hsvc sxw yvvf sgjpvw hmtvhsvj eahs igzs umjzv hsxh ah exi aolmiiypv hn imjh hsvo mgh xh zpp. Hsv qvvfvih vcv zmgpw fmh waizvjn esazs lmjhamf mu hsv ujxtovfhi exi fazsmppi xfw esazs Rxzqimf. Im hsvc zmppbzhvw xi ogzs xi hsvc zmgpw, xfw zxppvw ah FadmF.

1. Who said it to whom?

2. What book?

3. Why is it amusing?

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Round 18 - 17 September 1999

These people are connected and in the comment section, please tell me how, after you have told me who they are and where you found them.

1. A resolute hostess might have saved the situation, but A's abilities in that direction stopped short at leaving everything to the housekeeper and writing letters in her bedroom. When A was not writing letters in her bedroom - which was seldom, for she had an apparently inexhaustible correspondence - she was nursing sick headaches in it.

2. "You're a hard woman, B. What you need are a few quarts of the milk of human kindness. Look at the way you're treating that husband of yours. Driving him into the snow and bringing his clipped mustache to the grave. Who do you think you are? La belle dame sans merci or something?"

3. That his sister, C, should be the object of this passion occasioned him no astonishment. He had always placed her in the top ten for loooks, charm and general "esplieglerie" and had shared in the general consternation when she had thrown herself away on an ass like Y.

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Round 19 - 25 September 1999

I think that these might easier. I will give you the first sentence of a story and you will tell me which book or short story it is.

1. "Into the face of the young man who sat on the terrace of the Hotel Magnifique at Cannes there had crept a look of furtive shame, the shifty, hangdog look which announces that an Englishman is about to talk French."

2. "The feeling I had when Aunt Agatha trapped me in my lair that morning and spilled the bad news was that my luck had broken at last."

3. "The room was the typical bedroom of the typical boarding house, furnished, insofar as it could be said to be furnished at all , with severe simplicity."

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Round 20 - 2 October 1999

I may be making this too easy but I am going to give snippets of prefaces and the answers will be which book and who wrote it. This is a little hard in that all editions do not have the intro. However, I think the prefaces are almost as good as the book, especially if Plum wrote it.

1. "Except for the tendency to write articles about the Modern Girl and allow his side-whiskers to grow, there is nothing an author to-day has to guard himself against more carefully that the Saga habit."

2. "You can see how easy it is to start running on like this: the true Wodehouse fan has the concentration of a butterfly, fluttering inconsequentially over Wodehouse country and prattling foolishly about favored features of the region. Very irritating for tourists and new arrivals."

3. "But I am thinking more of the male codfish after his union has been blessed and he has become the father of three million little codfish, for when this happens he conscientiously resolves to love them all alike and have no favourites."

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